Yes, this might be a strange title but truly it's the first thing that came to my mind and honestly where I'm trying to get to. The past few months have been really hard for me emotionally and spiritually. I'm so thankful to have such a positive thinking husband though. I know that my mind set is not always positive so to be married to a man who has a very positive outlook on just about everything truly helps me. As most of you know, we have been seeking the Lord on direction for the near future. Matthew wants to go back to school and has been trying to narrow down exactly what medical field he wants to go in to. This process has just about made me tear my hair out. I have struggled trying to be encouraging and support whatever his decision will be. I know on the his end, he has been extremely stressed because he wants me to have opportunities to dance wherever we may go. So, I guess you could say we both have been having a hard time. Well, just recently, he has FINALLY decided on what that field is. And that is????
Veterinary school.
With this comes a whole other can of worms for me personally.
What test(s) does he need to take?? Where are the school options for him?? What about me?? What will I do?? How will my passion flourish while he is in school pursuing what God has called him to do?? How is this supposed to work?? How are we fitting together?? This isn't going to work. I can't dance and pursue my dancing career if he wants to play with animals. What have I done........????
These and MANY more questions have kept me awake entirely too many nights of the week. At first, I am excited. Then, I get stressed about how I fit into this plan. I am totally thrilled that he decided on a field he enjoys, loves, and believes its what he's supposed to do. AMEN!!!! I stand behind him completely. There are two different schools that he has narrowed down the option of attending. I will not go into those details right now because that would be a whole new post and perhaps I can save that for a different day. :)
As you can tell, there have been plenty of decisions we have had to make and making those decisions as a couple has been a tough journey. This morning, after dropping Matt off at school, I had about an hour or so before I had to get ready for work. I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the computer to journal. As I started praying, I was reminded of a verse. The chapter this comes from is very popular and is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I have pasted below the verse what I wrote down in my quiet time. It's not all of what I wrote but it's what I wrote about these particular verses.
*I encourage you to read this entire chapter and seek what God might give to you personally.*
Psalm 139:5-10
"You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you
are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."
These verses so encouraging to me!! God has laid his hand upon me, his right hand WILL hold me fast. It doesn’t matter where we go!! It doesn’t matter where I am at. The Lord will still hold me in the palm of his hand. There has not been one time that he has not taken care of me and my needs at a particular time. Why should this new chapter with new decisions be any different??
I remember being done with CFCC and stumbling around trying to figure out where I was going to go. I auditioned for several different schools and either I didn’t hear back from them or I wasn’t accepted. Then, I applied for Belhaven via a video. I had missed the physical audition date to go to MS and audition and therefore they said they would accept a video audition. I remember preparing that video on a Saturday afternoon, sending it in that following Monday morning, and by the end of that week I had received a phone call telling me that I was accepted and that my letter of acceptance was on its way. Talk about God being in every inch of that plan!!!!! Why he shouldn't be in the midst of this plan for us is an absurd thing to think about. He is our creator and the reason we find our being.
I am not a failure. I am created to succeed and be a blessing. God does not create mistakes and I am NOT a mistake. He has hemmed me in before and behind and he has laid his hand upon me. His right hand WILL hold me fast.
Like I said, I encourage you to read the entire chapter of Psalm 139. I also want to encourage you if you are in a hard place to not forget who you belong to and who is holding you always. Satan likes to discourage us in thinking we will never be good enough because of this reason or that reason but I'm here to tell you, God doesn't see us like that. God seriously doesn't make mistakes!! We all have a purpose on our lives. He has plans to help us succeed. I want to stay encouraged but more than that, I want to be an encouragement for others around me. If I can't live out encouragement in my own life, how will people believe me when I encourage them??
Today, tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, etc, I CHOOSE to be encouraging. I CHOOSE to stand on the promises that God has over my life. I CHOOSE to rest in the unknown of where God is taking us because of what his word says.
A hui kaua...
Veterinary school.
With this comes a whole other can of worms for me personally.
What test(s) does he need to take?? Where are the school options for him?? What about me?? What will I do?? How will my passion flourish while he is in school pursuing what God has called him to do?? How is this supposed to work?? How are we fitting together?? This isn't going to work. I can't dance and pursue my dancing career if he wants to play with animals. What have I done........????
These and MANY more questions have kept me awake entirely too many nights of the week. At first, I am excited. Then, I get stressed about how I fit into this plan. I am totally thrilled that he decided on a field he enjoys, loves, and believes its what he's supposed to do. AMEN!!!! I stand behind him completely. There are two different schools that he has narrowed down the option of attending. I will not go into those details right now because that would be a whole new post and perhaps I can save that for a different day. :)
As you can tell, there have been plenty of decisions we have had to make and making those decisions as a couple has been a tough journey. This morning, after dropping Matt off at school, I had about an hour or so before I had to get ready for work. I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the computer to journal. As I started praying, I was reminded of a verse. The chapter this comes from is very popular and is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I have pasted below the verse what I wrote down in my quiet time. It's not all of what I wrote but it's what I wrote about these particular verses.
*I encourage you to read this entire chapter and seek what God might give to you personally.*
Psalm 139:5-10
"You hem me in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you
are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."
These verses so encouraging to me!! God has laid his hand upon me, his right hand WILL hold me fast. It doesn’t matter where we go!! It doesn’t matter where I am at. The Lord will still hold me in the palm of his hand. There has not been one time that he has not taken care of me and my needs at a particular time. Why should this new chapter with new decisions be any different??
I remember being done with CFCC and stumbling around trying to figure out where I was going to go. I auditioned for several different schools and either I didn’t hear back from them or I wasn’t accepted. Then, I applied for Belhaven via a video. I had missed the physical audition date to go to MS and audition and therefore they said they would accept a video audition. I remember preparing that video on a Saturday afternoon, sending it in that following Monday morning, and by the end of that week I had received a phone call telling me that I was accepted and that my letter of acceptance was on its way. Talk about God being in every inch of that plan!!!!! Why he shouldn't be in the midst of this plan for us is an absurd thing to think about. He is our creator and the reason we find our being.
I am not a failure. I am created to succeed and be a blessing. God does not create mistakes and I am NOT a mistake. He has hemmed me in before and behind and he has laid his hand upon me. His right hand WILL hold me fast.
Like I said, I encourage you to read the entire chapter of Psalm 139. I also want to encourage you if you are in a hard place to not forget who you belong to and who is holding you always. Satan likes to discourage us in thinking we will never be good enough because of this reason or that reason but I'm here to tell you, God doesn't see us like that. God seriously doesn't make mistakes!! We all have a purpose on our lives. He has plans to help us succeed. I want to stay encouraged but more than that, I want to be an encouragement for others around me. If I can't live out encouragement in my own life, how will people believe me when I encourage them??
Today, tomorrow, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, etc, I CHOOSE to be encouraging. I CHOOSE to stand on the promises that God has over my life. I CHOOSE to rest in the unknown of where God is taking us because of what his word says.
A hui kaua...
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