Are we there yet??

Mid terms have officially started!! Hallelujah!! I know, how can I be happy for my husband stressing out over huge tests?? What kind of wife am I?!?! Well, here's how I look at it. 

We have made it to midterms. 

WHICH MEANS!! 

This term is half way over.

WHICH MEANS!!

We are that much closer to being home. :) 

As you can tell, I am anxiously counting down the moments till I get to see family and friends back home again. It's been a bit tough watching several of my friends here already being able to go home for a visit. On top of that, people are talking about their Christmas plans and when they are leaving the island. I, on the other hand, do not get to get home for Christmas. This fact hit me rather had sometime back. I really like Christmas. It's probably my favorite holiday. I love Thanksgiving just as much but when I was in school, Thanksgiving was not a convenient holiday to just drive home for. Therefore, Christmas was the big holiday to look forward to. Of course growing up, I always looked forward to Christmas. What other holiday gets its own catchy songs to go along with it????? :)

The other big reason why I love Christmas so much is because of my Gra'mas REAL homemade egg nog. :) Yes ladies and gentlemen, REAL. Not that weird store bought kind that's better as coffee creamer than an actual drink. The real stuff with actual nog in it. My Gra'ma has her mothers recipe and ever since I can remember, egg nog was served after the dishes were cleaned up and before the presents were opened. 

To make this long explanation longer, I am very sad to realize that I will be missing out on these things. I am praying that Christmas will come to us here this year. Airline tickets are rather pricey because December is the start of tourist season so my family is having trouble finding affordable tickets. I know our biggest Christmas present will arrive before we know it. ;) The little bug is moving all over the place these days. My stomach will spas out which is really funny to watch. I'm interested to see the imprint of a foot or hand or elbow. Now, THAT will be pretty exciting!! We are continuing to prepare, through the Bradley Method, for birth here in Grenada. I am very thankful my friend Natalia is going to be our doula AND she's offered to take pictures at the hospital!! She'll be able to capture some very precious moments. :) 

With each new day, I feel I am getting bigger and hotter. That is, hotter temperature wise. There is a necessity to be in the water at least an hour every day. If I'm not there, I am seeking out AC on campus or a friends place. To say I live in my bathing suit is probably an understatement. There's just no getting comfortable here when you are 7+ months pregnant. However, I feel I have been very blessed with a rather easy pregnancy. Watching myself put on weight and the hotness of Grenada has been the most challenging parts. We are both praying that baby decides to come AFTER Matthew has finished his finals in December. 

Matthew has been a great support through everything. Although he doesn't always know what to say or do, he knows how to love on me and make me feel special. I am very proud of all of his hard work lately. Last Monday was the start of their midterms with a nutrition exam. Then this whole week they are taking the rest. He already got his scores back for the two he has taken and all I can say is he did very well. :) He is holding on to his A/B average. Honestly, I was rather worried for a couple weeks. Although I was glad he took time to hang out with me, he was skipping several of his classes. However, after seeing where he is standing, I'm not too worried. The only thing I told him was that I was planning on being here for three years ONLY. Anything after that, he was on his own. Harsh, I know, but that's the "unwritten contract" I agreed to. ;) He has done so well and I truly couldn't be prouder. Every day he studies for at least two hours once he gets home. Sometimes longer. This week, studying has been longer to prepare for midterms.

Our way of Caribbean living seems to be falling into a pretty routine schedule. Matt gets up with Nutmeg. Hangs out with her while I sleep. Then he heads to school and I'm left to figure out my day!! Depending on the day, I'm doing several things. I've been sick the past week and haven't felt up to going to my yoga and Pilates classes. Hopefully that will begin to change soon. :) Praying for complete healing!!!

Here are a few pictures. Because of I've been sick, I haven't done much lately so they are mostly just Nutmeg. :) As you can tell, she has certainly grown a lot!! Her black fir has come in much more now.

{I swear she thinks she's a cat sometimes....}

{She really fell asleep like this one night}

{7+ months!!}

{Nothings better than an old slipper}

{So regal aren't we!!}

{Why hello there beautiful!!}

A hui kaua......

Grenada - 2 Months In

Hello from Grenada!!

Well, we have officially been in Grenada, West Indies, for almost two months. Our little house has begun to feel more homey for us. It took a long time for us to receive the boxes we had sent before we left NC. Matthew had to go to the port five different times before they finally went through them. We have realized the term "island time" is an actual thing and EVERYBODY follows it!! They work when they want and leave when they're ready. Places close earlier than what we are used to and are, at times, not open when you need them to be. Needless to say, it's been quite the adjustment. Matthew seems to have adjusted fairly quickly where as I have struggled along. I guess that's to be expected though. :)

Matthew has been studying hard!! He started classes about a month ago and has already had four tests with two more tests within the next week. He has a full schedule every day. He starts his days with a lab in the morning at 8:30 that lasts about two hours. Then has a break till 1:30 when he starts lectures for the afternoon from 1:30-5:30. Some days he's finished at 4:30 and some days he doesn't go in till 10:30AM. I'm still trying to adjust to his schedule. :) He is playing on the intramural soccer team which I know he is enjoying. It's fun to go out and watch them play. As soon as he's done with school in the afternoon, he is hitting the beach!! Snorkeling or just swimming, he says he needs the water. Guess we picked the right place!! :) I am thankful that he plans his time of studying to be able to hang out with me as well. On the weekends, he tries to only study in the evenings so we can do things together during the day. I'm happy for that. :) Very proud of his hard work and determination to stay focused. Although his classes are getting a bit more detailed and hard to understand, I can see he is keeping a level head and staying on top of everything.

I have also been trying to stay busy. The heat and humidity here is almost unbearable!! I thought Wilmington was hot in the summer!! At least back home there was central A/C in all buildings. Running the A/C unit can get pricey here. In our house, there are only units in the two bedrooms that cool those two rooms only. Running it all the time is way to expensive so we only run it at night when we are settling down. So, what do I during the day?? I try my hardest to find things to do outside my house!! I'm fairly certain the temperature INSIDE can be upwards of 85-90 degrees. There is a nice breeze that blows but its not always constant. I try to get to the beach or pool every day to keep cool. :) I am thankful to have found a great group of girls who are in the same position as I am. Their is an organization called the Significant Others Organization (SO for short). It is basically all the wives or husbands of the students. So, those of us who are just here for the support of our spouse. I have met some awesome girls to hang out with!! It's very encouraging to be around other people who are feeling the same way I am and going through the same struggles. The SO's have created different things for us to be a part of. Of course I can pick and choose what I do. For example, there is an after school program called Limes with some of the Grenadian children here. (It is similar to the Pink Hippo Project at LifeCC.) Their ages range from 1-16. Every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday there is a group of SO's that goes to hang out with them for about two hours in the afternoon. We play games, help with homework, or just be there to give them some love and encouragement. They get really excited when they see us. It's a fun time!! I personally am not going every day because I feel it's just too much for me. I go at least one day a week if not two. On Mondays and Thursdays, we can go to the University Club and swim in the pool. That's a highlight for a lot of the SO's, myself included. :) On Friday evenings, I attend a ladies Bible study which has been very encouraging and a great support. I have made some great friendships through that as well. There are lots of families here which means more moms for me to lean on and ask questions!! I am certainly getting bigger. Baby sure likes to kick and squirm around especially when I'm sitting in a position that it doesn't like. The heat and being pregnant are NOT a fun combination that's for sure!! I have struggled getting comfortable living here and transitioning into a new life style but I am thankful for the ladies I have met and the support Matthew has been able to give. I'm sure a lot has to do with the crazy hormones running through my body but moving out of the country to a place you've never been is very hard to adjust in a short amount of time. I am sure by the time we leave, I will miss this place but I am very grateful that this is just a season the Lord has us in for now. 

The most recent thing that has happened is that we got a puppy!!! :) One of Matt's teachers was trying to help a friend, who breeds German Shepard's, find a home for a 14 week old girl puppy. His teacher brought the puppy to school on Monday and Matt of course jumped all of the opportunity!! His teacher told him to take the puppy home and see what we thought and if we could keep her. Well, she just completely stole our hearts. :) She is absolutely precious, so loving, and her fir is very soft. I was a little hesitant at first to get attached to her because we weren't sure we were going to be able to keep her. Matt wanted to check with our landlords first to make sure they were ok with it and they are. German Shepard's are known to be very protective of their owners and children. If I'm going to be home alone a lot here, it will be nice to have her. Especially when the baby comes. She already follows me everywhere and doesn't leave my side. :) So!! She's ours!! Matt's teacher is bringing him all the paperwork this week. We were talking last night what we were going to name her and I figured that she needed a Grenadian name since we are getting her from here. What better name than the national spice of Grenada!! Nutmeg!! :) I think her fir kind of resembles nutmeg also. So, Nutmeg is her name.

I am attaching several pictures from our time here already. There are a lot so if you want more, just go check out my albums on Facebook. We miss our families and friends very much!! Although it is beautiful here, I am anxiously awaiting the time to return home. :) 

{Our beach}

{And the other side of our beach}

{One of the MANY views from campus}

{After receiving his white coat}

{Limes kids}

{Magazine Beach}

{Magazine is right about the corner from our house}

{6 MONTHS!!!}

{Nutmeg!!}

{Bonding}

{Getting some love}

{Beautiful sunsets}

A hui kaua......

God's Unfailing Promises

WHOA!!! Talk about a whirlwind of a summer!! I wouldn't necessarily say it went by fast but at the same time, it wasn't exactly slow going. After we moved to Emerald Isle, I began having a hard time being there. Now, it was nothing anyone had done or said. It was merely the fact that I was out of my comfort zone and not in a place I could call "mine." Matt grew up on Emerald Isle so he was completely comfortable being back. Me, on the other hand, struggled. A lot. Towards the end of our stay, I had some pretty big breakdowns. I'm sure I could blame it completely on hormones, but I know there was more to it than that. 

As the days drew to an end in the US, I began getting nervous and extremely sad to leave. I kept telling Matt that "I wasn't ready. I can't do this. This is WAY too hard." He, of course, comforted me the best he knew how. How do you comfort someone who is so completely overtaken by the idea of moving out of her home and familiar country to a place she's never been to?? I'm sure my breakdowns got exhausting for him to have to handle but through it all, I know he was (and still is) right there to hold me and help me walk through this major change. 

We have been in Grenada almost a week (tomorrow will be one week exactly). As we traveled to the airport last Friday I had knots in my stomach. My family and Matt's mom took us up to Raleigh. As we stood at the counter checking in our bags, I knew the time to say goodbye was coming way too soon. I chocked back tears and just prayed that I wouldn't fall apart in front of the Delta lady. Before we went through security, our families prayed over us. That's, of course, when the waterworks started. I felt like I was trying my hardest to dig my heels into the dirt and not be moved forward. I cried my goodbyes out to everyone and struggled my way through security. The entire travel was spent taking deep breathes. We flew to JFK where we had an 8 hour layover which allowed for us to go into the city to see my younger sister. I was grateful for a quick goodbye with her while we parted ways in the middle of the West 4 St. subway that evening. It wasn't until we were at cruising altitude on our way to Grenada that I allowed myself to fall apart again. 

I meant for this post to be about our first week here but I think it's made a turn for something else. As I laid in bed last Saturday night (crying again of course), I told Matt the things I had realized from our travel. God was with us 100% of the way. I know, crazy ridiculous idea. Let me explain.

Several days before we started traveling (one of those nights I needed to cry), I prayed for several things:

1. Our bags would not be overweight when we checked in.

2. Getting through security would be easy and not have any hold ups.

3. Protection over us as we traveled into the city to meet Abbey.

4. All of our bags would make it with us when we arrived.

5. Getting through immigration and customs would not be a hassle.

6. For peace as we arrived in Grenada and for connections to begin quickly.

You want to know how big my God is?? He answered everyone and so much more. Each of our bags were right at 50lbs. No extra charge for overweight baggage. Matt and I worked quickly and smoothly together to get through security and we had no hold ups. When we got back from meeting with Abbey, we were put at the front of the security line (which wasn't moving) because we were flying first class. No problems. Found our way to and from Abbey and my friend Chloe on the subway with no issues. Immigration looked at our passports and Matt's acceptance letter with no extra questions or concerns. ALL of our bags arrived and we only had to pay $60 in custom fees. The best part?? This is what I saw as we landed. 

There didn't need to be any words or explanations. I knew immediately that this was God's promise to me. His promise that He will never leave me or fail me. His reassurance that I needed to just call on His name. Every inch of His plan was going like He planned it because we were trusting COMPLETELY on the Lord. How rewarding it is!!! As I look over this past week, I see where my worry of making connections with others here was so silly. I have not only made connections but friends!! The Lord opened up a door for me to be a part of a ladies Bible study. Each morning I have the energy to grasp what scripture I read for that day. I am excited to see what God is showing me. The sadness of not being near my family is hard still but the knowledge of leaning on my Creator in all of my feelings (happy and sad) gives me reassurance and peace. 

These moments I have been reminded of what God is doing barely scratches the surface of this past week. I want to leave you with this verse to think on. 

"This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!" John 16:24 

A hui kaua....

OH!!! The places God takes you!!

Hello one and all!! Since my last post, having Internet connection has been sort of in and out. SO many things have been happening. The question is where to start??

Well, as you all know, Matthew has been accepted to vet school in St. George's, Grenada, West Indies. About four days before receiving his acceptance letter, we also found out that we will be first time parents come December. To say that our life is changing drastically would be an understatement. If I think back on where I was five years ago, that person would never believe that I would be here. 

Getting pregnant was definitely NOT in MY plans at least for another three-five years. However, I think God knew MY plans and just laughed at me. He sure has a sense of humor doesn't he!! When we got married (which, might I remind you, was only a mere 8 months ago), people said to "wait till you are ready" to have kids. My question is, WHEN IS ANYONE "READY" TO HAVE A CHILD?!?! Sure, you can plan. You can read every getting ready book. You can track your hormones. Blah blah blah. But seriously, is anyone ever really READY to have a kid?? Don't get me wrong, I am totally excited about being a mom. Yes, I'm sure my world is going to turn upside down with everything going on (you know, moving out of the country and all) but the fact that we both are in this together, that we both are stepping up to the plate, I feel gives us a better perspective of this "being ready" idea. 

Towards the middle of May, we had to begin the process of moving. Now, moving to Grenada was not going to be a one-time-move-deal. In order to save money before we get there, we needed to not have a rent payment. Therefore, we moved from our house in Wilmington to a condo at Carolina Beach for our last week living in Wilmington. After that, we moved from the condo to Matt's moms house in Emerald Isle. We will be here until July 27 when we fly to Grenada. Once arriving in Grenada, we will stay in a hotel. After eight days of being there, we will FINALLY be in our rental house. Ladies and gentlemen, if you lost count of how many times I will be packing and unpacking a bag at a new place, that is a total of FOUR times within a matter of three months.

I don't want to make this post very long. I wanted to give an update on where we were. The emotions circling all this stuff is enough to create another post. So!! Stay tuned. I'm sure to give you some more of my thoughts. :) 

A hui kaua.......

Our time in Buffalo

The week of Easter, Matthew had Spring Break and we were able to travel to Buffalo, NY, to visit my sister and brother-in-law and their two girls. It was a great time!! Yes, it was a cold and not your typical "spring break weather" but we had such a fun time.

Mark took us to the falls. I have been to the Canada side, which is pretty spectacular. This time, however, we just stayed on the America side. Matt has never been to the falls so it was cool to spend some time there. Rebecca let me color eggs with the girls. They had not done that sort of craft before and Kaia was especially excited. The next day, we took a trip to the Buffalo Zoo. Oh how that was so much fun!! Kaia and Olivia were just SO cute running all over the place. When I asked Kaia what her favorite animal was, she said, "The Polar Bears!!" Of course, in her little toddler voice where she thinks "Polar Bear" is one word. :) When I asked Olivia, she just nodded when I rambled off a couple different ones that we saw. Then she wanted to flip through my phone of pictures haha!! :)

Here are some pictures of our adventures. :)

                                                  

                                                 

                                                 

   It was so nice to be able to spend some time with a part of my family I don't see very often. Playing with my nieces was such a joy. :) They have grown up so much!! 

A hui kaua..........   

   

Today is FRIDAY

FRIDAY!!!!!!

Yippeeeeeeeee :)

This will probably be a very short blog post but I'm in such a great mood that I figured I'd write it out!! :) My only complaint about today is that I had to work on this gorgeous day and therefore missed out on spending it outside. Work was pretty busy so I guess that was ok. 

I am excited about this evening!! My friend Shannon is in town with her husband for her twin brothers wedding.  I'm really excited for both Nathan and Laura and its such a gorgeous day for a wedding. The last wedding I went to was my own. ;) 

Other really big news is that Matthew is currently on his way to his interview for vet school!! He had to go to Goldsboro to meet with an alumni representative who is doing the interview. I'm praying for the Lord's hand to be over the conversation. Anxious and excited to hear how it goes.

This weekend, UNCW is bringing the dance company Pilobolus to Kenan auditorium!! They are such an amazing company.  It's hard to explain exactly what style of dance they are so here's a video of some of their stuff. Just absolutely amazing!! Matt got us tickets to see the performance for tomorrow night. Plus!! I get to take part in the master class that they will be having tomorrow morning!! :) Super excited about that!!

I'm very thankful for a husband who works in a school because we get to take part in Spring Break!! I know he's ready for some time off and I'm ready to have a change of scenery for some time. So, for our spring break, we are headed up to Buffalo to visit my sister and BIL and their 2 beautiful girls. :) We'll be there ALL week long. We have already planned on dying eggs with Kaia and Olivia for Easter. I also going to try to get them to take us to the original place where Buffalo Wings came from. ;) I've been but Matt has not so it will be fun to experience it again. Not much more on our agenda other than that. Matt's never been to Canada and Buffalo is very close to the boarder. That might be a possibility but who knows!! We'll see. Matt's aunt used to work for Delta so we are flying on buddy passes. Please pray for safe travels and that we get a seat on the flights that we need to!!

Are you having Spring Break also this coming week?? If so, what do you have planned to do?? :)

A hui kaua.....

God's Power is Great

I just had a very interesting encounter just a little bit ago. Today is Thursday and I had dance this evening. Matt had a baseball game out of town so we both were going to be eating separately. No big deal. As I drove home from dance, I was listening to some worship music. I really had no idea what I wanted to eat. I've just exercised for almost 2 hours and not real interested in a burger and fries. BUT!! I also don't want to go home and make something. So, I pull into Chick-Fil-A to get a salad.

*I love their southwest char-grilled salads. So yummy!!*

I drive up to the speaker and give my order. The girl on the other end gives me my total and tells me to pull around. There are about 3 cars in front of me so I had time to get my money ready. 

And then I look up.

The young lady that has just taken my order is handing the next customer their order. No big deal I know. Just doing her job. What she's supposed to do. 

"Welcome to Chick-Fil-A. May I take your order?? Will that be all?? You're welcome. It's my pleasure."

As I watch her hand the next car their order and then finally the one in front of me, my heart starts speeding up. I can't figure out why!! Softly, I hear the Lord say something to me. My heart races even faster!! 

"God, you want me to just tell her that?? What in the world?!?!"

He speaks again and repeats what I need to say. By this point, I'm at the window and have handed the young lady my money. My heart is in my ears!! 

She hands me my drink.

I say thank you.

She hands me my food.

I put it on my seat.

Then I turn back around and just open my mouth...

"Do you need anything else?"

"Well, yes. What's your name?"

"My name? Tatum."

*Ok, so I saw it on her name tag but I was still trying to get up the courage to actually say what I needed to say!!*

"Tatum, you need to know that you are loved."

She chuckles "Ok..."

"I just needed to tell you that." 

Huge smile on her face because I'm sure she was as shocked as I was haha

"Ok, well thank you!!"

And that was it. I drove off. I have no idea who Tatum is. I don't know if she's in high school or college. I'm fairly certain I could not pick her out of a crowd. So, why did I have to tell her that and not the dozens of people I waited on today?? Why did I feel the tug to talk to her specifically and not the teacher I had for ballet tonight?? 

I have no idea.

But what I do know is that God works in far different ways than we understand or can even begin to comprehend. This past week, one of our other pastors spoke at church. He made a comment that I thought about when I was driving away from Chick-Fil-A. He said, "What if you don't know if it's God speaking to you?? Well, if you are feeling something that will encourage someone and not cut them down, then you should say it. God doesn't give you words of belittling and cutting remarks. He gives words of affirmation and encouragement." I knew it was the Lord talking to me because of how my heart was beating so fast. I knew I would regret driving away and not saying something to her. I hope that in some slight way I encouraged her. I probably won't see her again since I don't go to Chick-Fil-A that much. A seed was planted though and it's in God's hands to bring others into her life to help that seed grow. 

God is moving in powerful ways and if we allow Him, He will use us to help spread His glory, love, and forgiveness. I want to be used!! I want to see His awesome power first hand!! 

Has God tugged on your heart lately?? Have you responded or walked away from a moment?? Listen to His spirit and follow what He says to you. You may be happily surprised by the outcome. ;)

A hui kaua.......

Springtime!!

Several weeks ago, our worship pastor at church taught us this song. The first time I heard it, I absolutely fell in love with it. The lyrics are very catchy and its a great song to dance around the house to. :) *Of course, I'm not speaking from experience. ;)* This video is a live version of it from Bethel Church. Grab your dancing shoes because it will have you on your feet dancing around!! And more than likely I will guess you will have it stuck in your head for a while. :)

Enjoy!!

A hui kaua.....

EXTRA!! EXTRA!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

Hello one and all!! Since there has been some time between this and my last post, I would like to catch you up on what's been going on. First off, today is March 22 and for the past 2 weeks we have been having some VERY warm weather in NC. Not that I'm exactly complaining, it just means that this summer is probably gonna be a scorcher!! 

Anywho, a few weeks ago I stepped out my front door and these were blooming!!! Aren't they gorgeous??

Well, they are very beautiful and I now have 5 bushes in my front yard bursting with colors of pink. The Azalea Festival is not for another few weeks and by the time that comes around, they're all gonna be gone. 

*I honestly don't remember the last time we had Azalea's blooming during the actual Azalea Festival....hmmmm.....*

Moving right along in the world of Joanna. I did my first guest blog!! :) My older sister, Rebecca, asked me to write a post for her blog last week. She asked me to write about our Daniel Fast. If you'd like to read it, click here. Just go check out her blog in general!! She has some great posts on a regular basis. More regular than mine. :-p

*My two beautiful sisters. Abigail on the left and Rebecca on the right.*

And now, for news from around the world.

As you all know, Matt has applied for vet school. The last step that he had to take from our end was to take the GRE. Well ladies and gents!! The GRE has been taken and we have a wonderful score!!! :)

*Even this book would not have helped ME. Glad I wasn't the one taking it. :-p*

I am not a test taker. Never have been. In fact, when I take tests, I get real bad anxiety and basically just sit there and cry. Its really bad. If I was the one having to take this test, I would have been a nervous wreck for the past month!! My husband on the other hand?? Well, he was nervous for sure but he has also been studying his butt off to make sure he was as prepared as he could be. We had a talk a few days ago about taking the test and I found myself getting very nervous for him. It almost felt like I was the one having to take the test and not him!! Not a great feeling. He spoke pretty confidently that he was going to do fine. He had prepared himself as best he could and that's all he could do. The rest was in the Lord's hands. 

There has certainly been a lot of prayer going into this process (I'm sure you are all ready for us to have some answers to I will stop talking it haha!!). In order to be eligible for any kind of financial scholarships, Matt needed to get a 1080 (I have no idea what the numbers mean or how the scoring goes. I just know what number we needed.) He called me at work right after he was done and told me his score........

1100!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so happy!!! He worked so hard and was so determined to do good. This was joy to my ears. St. George's told him to call them as soon as he got finished with the test to tell them his score (Because the GRE is taken on a computer, you get your score as soon as it is finished. You don't get your essay score right away because someone has to read that.) After talking to St. George's, Matt was told that they would call him if he got an interview and when/where it would be. Since they were just waiting on his GRE score, they couldn't set up an interview till they got that. They got in touch with him today and said that he definitely has an interview and will call with details of when/where that will take place!!!!!!!! :) 

Praise the Lord!!!!!! We have taken the steps toward this and it looks like things are falling into place. There is still a LLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGG way to go before we actually move but this process has gone very smoothly. I think Matt is happy with the outcome so far and we both are so excited to see what happens over the coming weeks. 

*Pretty soon I'll HAVE to blog every day to keep you all updated on life in a new place!!!*

I think that just about gets you caught up on life here in Wilmington. In little over a week, we will be traveling to NY to visit my sister and bro-in-law for a few days. Pretty excited about that. Can't wait to see my little nieces that aren't so little any more!! There will be PLENTY of thoughts and memories of that trip to write a blog about. 

Stay tuned!! :)

A hui kaua.......

On Earth as it is in Heaven

Hello dear friends. I wanted to share this link with everyone. Our home church believes in extreme faith. For the past couple weeks, we have been reading through John. Currently we are on chapter 16. A couple cool facts about John:

*James and John were brothers and partners in their fathers business

* He was the first and youngest disciple of Jesus

*John and James left everything to follow Jesus

*Jesus committed the care of his mother to John 

*Jesus referred to John as "the one he loves"

I don't want to make this into a very long post because the video speaks for itself. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all write about the miracles Jesus did while on earth. However, they don't write down all of them which means that Jesus was doing many more miracles on a regular basis. Our culture and way of life has turned into a microwave society; we want it now and not later. In some aspects, that's good. For example, praying. When we pray, we should pray for right now. Jesus prayed for people to be healed right then and they did. When he returned to the Father, he didn't leave us alone. The Holy Spirit is with us. Therefore, we have the same power as Jesus did to see healing take place!! 

*Is that good news or what!!!!!*

Let me also say this. Just because we pray for someone to be healed and nothings happens right then, God is still working. He has heard the prayer and will answer it. The seed has been planted. God wants everything to be to the glory of his name. Delays are not unanswered prayers but building blocks for something bigger. He allows delays so we can handle the blessings he gives us. *Go check out John 11, the story of Lazarus.*

Check out this video. This just happened recently at our church. They played this during worship at our church on Sunday and I was in awe of God's power. 

God does miracles. We just have to believe and step out in faith.

Powell | Bookstore Testimony from Life Community Church on Vimeo.

So, who can you pray for today?? What do you believe God can do?? :)

A hui kaua.......

O you of little faith!!

I have never liked New Year Resolutions. Just like Valentine's Day, I think they are kind of a silly list of void promises that you are going to try your darnedest to keep up with. I prefer instead to seek the Lord for what He has in store for me that year. This comes in the form of one word (I know, sounds crazy but bare with me.) and that word brings along with it a verse. 

This year, my word is faith. 

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for

and certain of what we do not see."

*Hebrews 11:1*

This word has shown itself a thousand times since the turn of the new year (I think I wrote about this verse some time during the Daniel Fast but I am going in a different direction than what I wrote about in that post.). During the Daniel Fast is when I received this word and verse for this year. Right off the bat, I thought of the possibility of us moving to Grenada for Matthew to begin vet school. We hope for him to get into vet school wherever that might be!! We are certain that God will provide the right time and place for that to happen.
For me personally, I hope to have my own dance company one day. I do not want to own a studio. That's never been a dream or desire of mine. To have a professional dance company though? Now that would be a dream. This has been a dream that my best friend Shannon and I have talked about for years and years. I believe that it will one day come to be. :)
Thinking about my dreams and desires as well as those of Matthew, I have found myself becoming a little discouraged. Don't get me wrong, moving to Grenada would be a life changing experience and one of adventure!! It would be absolutely incredible!! Over the past several months of us praying and seeking the Lord on where to go, I have found myself pushing Matt more and more to seek out his dream. When we first met, he was not certain of what he wanted to do when he "grew up." He was pre-med in college at Liberty and UNCW but once graduating, he didn't know what field he wanted to go into.
I, on the other hand, have known since I was 13 what I wanted to be when I "grew up." (I put this in quotes because I told my parents at the age of 4 that I was all growed up. I'm fairly certain they are still waiting on that to happen. ;-p) I have always wanted to dance. There has never been anything else that made sense or even caught my attention like dancing has. When I was about 11 or 12, I was prophesied over. They told me that they saw me dancing and through my dancing, heaven was being pulled down. Just the other night, I had a good friend tell me that as she watched me dance, she could see how my heart danced for the King. She could see the joy all over me and the passion to express my love to Jesus.
I do not write these things to boast about myself and my accomplishments but to express why I dance and have this desire. I boast about His unfailing goodness over me!! I boast about His love and devotion in my life!! Without it, I would be nothing and my dancing would be void and pointless. I do not dance to bring attention to myself (trust me, I HATE being the center of attention....it bothers me a lot actually.....). I dance to bring hearts to Him. I have a tattoo on my foot that has the verse reference from Isaiah 52:7 which says:
"How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who says to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"
My God is the Good News. My God is peace. My God brings good tidings. My God is salvation. My God Reigns!!! That's what I want my dancing to proclaim. Throughout my dancing life, I have fought an uphill battle of being told I'm "not good enough." Not good enough for this part or that part. Not good enough for this level or that level. Not good enough to teach here or there. Not good enough to perform. The list goes on and on. I have learned in the dance world that if you don't "prove" yourself, you will never get anywhere. I refuse to accept this mentality and words of discouragement.
Now, here I stand. Believing in standing beside and supporting my husband. His dream is to be a veterinarian. How in Sam hill can a dancer and vet be together along the same path!?!? I have urged Matt to go for this opportunity of becoming a vet. I have wanted him to reach his goals and dreams. There is nothing more that I would want to see than to see him happy with accomplishing this!!
As the application process has started and the GRE has been scheduled however, my heart has begun to get twisted with panic. I think of living in a totally different country. How are my dreams and passions of dancing suppose to happen there?!?! God, now would be a great time to give me some real clear understanding of what is going on!! Since graduating college, I have floundered looking for where God wants me to be. I was accepted into a professional dance company (which I am reminded is a HUGE accomplishment in general....) but declined the offer for several reasons. I have taught and danced around the Wilmington area since being back here. Staring a move to the Caribbean square in the eyes makes me extremely nervous because I can't see what is on the other side of this. I can research all day long of the island of Grenada but my fear of laying down my dancing forever...................takes my breath away. The thought makes me panic honestly. 
Then I am reminded of Jeremiah 1:16.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew (chose) you,
before you were born I set you apart..."
There's no reason why I should be laying down my dancing!!! I can dance anywhere!!! He didn't create me to have a dead life. He created me to have a full life. God knew me and saw me before I was even created. Before my parents even knew I existed, Jesus was there. He breathed life into me and said, "Dance for me Joanna." He wouldn't create something to let it go to waste. The dust in my life is settling and is reminding me more and more to rely on the Lord for every step.
We walk by faith and not by sight.


My faith assures me of my hope in the Lord to keep me dancing and assures me of the future I cannot see. If we go to Grenada, then I will dancing on the beach!! God will never leave me nor forsake me. He created me to dance so dance I shall!!





  

A hui kaua....

The Stand

Hello friends. I know I've been gone for a while and there's no "good" excuse for not posting. Its just plain laziness. So, my apologies. I wanted to posted a song that I have enjoyed listening to lately. I have gotten to the point where I hate listening to the radio. There is absolutely not one good song on that I really want to listen to. When I'm driving around town I normally plug in my phone and listen to Pandora where I have several stations of either just music or worship music. Hillsong is one of my stations. Ever since I was first introduced to their music, I have enjoyed listening, soaking, and resting in the worship. My collection of Hillsong music has expanded to Jesus Culture, Michael Gungor, Passions, and plenty of others. On top of that, I think I am extremely spoiled with the worship music at our church. I absolutely love our worship pastor Matt Blair. He is a phenomenal singer and truly has a heart for worship. He does write music but also plays music from other worship leaders and bands.
Anyways, this is a song from Hillsong United called "The Stand." We have sung this at church a number of times. When I listen to worship music, it's hard for me to sit there and not move in some way shape or form. God has given me the gift of dancing. I believe its a gift because I find the best ideas for choreography have come from worshiping. This is one of those songs that I enjoy worshiping with. I pray you find some time to rest and worship in you own way to this song also.
Enjoy!! :)    

A hui kaua....

Soweto Gospel Choir

Last week Tuesday, my mom and I had the opportunity to see the Soweto Gospel Choir at Kenan on the UNCW campus. Tickets were going for around $50 or something but a friend of mine (who is a UNCW student) got us tickets for $10!!!!!!! Pretty awesome for sure. Anyways, I wanted to give you a taste of this awesome night. Read all about them at http://www.sowetogospelchoir.com/. They are absolutely phenomenal!! Here's a video of them but go check out more videos on YouTube. 

The End

Well, the Daniel Fast is officially over tomorrow. We, as a congregation, will break the fast tomorrow with taking communion together. Looking over the past several weeks, I have some mixed feelings about it all. It's been hard, there have been tests, and prayers have been answered. It is definitely far from true to say that God hasn't done great things. I feel the three weeks were broken into three different emotions (I know that sounds weird but let me explain). 

The first week I felt very far from God. I couldn't hear Him speaking to me, I felt alone, I felt like I had started all this to sit in silence for the entire duration. These feelings of course ended the first week in a bit of frustration and anger but as the second week started, I realized that this process had been a cleansing time. I think I posted in an earlier blog that you must clean out an area in order to bring in new things and that's just what I was feeling like after the first week. God can't pour out what He wants for you to hear or receive if you are bogged down with other things. During this first week, we stuck very strictly to the Daniel Fast Diet. In retrospect, the first week was a cleansing time.

The second week was when I really started feeling the Lord speaking to me. In small whispers at moments and through things I saw or read. He reminded me to "Taste and see that I am good, Joanna." He began opening my eyes and heart to what it truly means to be a servant. Part of being a Christian is to serve others around us. I would like to think that I have always had this mindset but when it came to work, I didn't see it that way. Every time I would walk into work, I felt Him whisper to my heart saying, "Are you going to serve others the way I want you to serve them or are you going to serve them because this is your job and you have to do it?" I was reminded to keep my focus on heavens perspective and not my own worldly perspective. During this second week, I was reminded of what a servants heart looks like. It's a process and not something that happens over night but in the end, it's so rewarding to understand what that truly is. Another thing I was learning was how much God longs for a love relationship with Him from us. He loves us unconditionally and that's a hard concept to accept and fully understand. I am still trying to wrap my brain about it!! But being reminded of my relationship with Matthew and how our lives became one followed very closely to how God wants me to look at Him. He's been there since before my parents even knew I could be an existence. From that time before I came to be, God loved me and had already started a love relationship with me. I learned (and am STILL learning) to give that love back to Him. 

At the start of the third week, I became more worried about what I could and could not eat and therefore I had placed a lot of time on the food aspect while still trying to balance spending time with the Lord. That wasn't working out. About Tuesday or Wednesday, I was completely consumed with not eating certain things that I realized several days had gone by and my focus was far from where it needed to be. I went into this fast longing for more time with my creator. Matt had been sick all weekend and was still not feeling himself completely by Tuesday. (*I would like to mention that Tuesday evening was also the night that my mom and I went to see the Soweto Gospel Choir at Kenan. I will post about this time in an upcoming post. Stay tuned!!*) So, how do I say this?? I guess you could say I changed up my fast this past Monday. I have still kept my distance from Facebook and TV shows but did eat chicken and some dairy products a few times this week. I know what you're thinking, "How could you just stop all of a sudden in the middle of a fast?!?!" I say to that, because my focus was no longer on spending time with the Lord but focusing on when I was going to eat next and if I had anything I could eat. This fast was not about the food, although that was a part of it. The real reason for this fast, at least for me, was to gain a deeper relationship with the Lord and receive direction on many areas of my life. My worry of meals was getting in the way of that. A week ago I was stressing about our possible move to the Caribbean. 

How was that going to work?? 

Where would we live?? 

How would we live?? 

What about all our things here?? 

I asked God for peace about this option and that I needed Him to help me see through His eyes. I dove heard first into His presence, aching for direction. I found that yesterday. It might seem like the last moment when God would finally pull through, but it only seems that way because I was expecting it in my timing and not His. I didn't work yesterday so I was home all day. I found myself pouring over blogs from students that are currently at St. George's. I found out that there is a whole group of significant others who have created a support group of each other and those new students coming in. The peace that I was looking for had come. I saw that if we do move down there, there are others who understand the change that we would be going through and are willing to help me through it. There's a group of ladies who have started working with some some of the kids within a school (I don't remember if they are orphans or if its just a like an after school thing). It sparked my interested. Above that, several of these families are Christians. I was just reminded that no matter where we go, God will provide a healthy transition for us and will not leave us alone. "I will never leave you or forsake you." As long as we are following God's plan for our lives, He will be diligent in providing for us and taking care of us. Without Him, we are nothing. This is what I have been looking for throughout this whole fast and finding it at the every end was absolutely priceless to me and an answer to my hearts prayer. 

I know the fast ends officially tomorrow but this is not where I want my thought process to end when it comes to spending time with the Lord. In this last day, I turned to 1 Peter 1:13-25. There's so much in these few verses that I have just soaked up and  are continue to soak up. Starting in verse 24, it says:

"All men are like grass,

and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

but the word of the Lord stands forever."

His word stands forever and goes for promises in the Bible as well as promises He has spoken to me. We will be taken care of no matter where we end up. It's hard to fathom leaving a place that's so comfortable and that you have grown up in. God is good. Bottom line. :)

A hui kaua......

Daniel Fast - Day 14

Well, this day has been pretty interesting to say the least. I reckon the whole weekend really. I had to work just about the entire day yesterday. Went in at 10 and left around 5. It was a long day for sure but worth it because we were really busy. I'm ok with long days that end well financially. :)

On days like that, however, I don't really like to come home and have to figure out what to make for dinner. My entire body really hurts from walking/running around all day assisting to everyone's needs. Just saying. Anyways. When Matt picked me up, he asked me what we wanted to do for dinner and I said I didn't really care just as long as I didn't have to make anything. He suggested Mixto.

Mixto is in downtown Wilmington and a very eccentric place to dine. The atmosphere is really unique. The cuisine is Tex Mex, kind of like Tower 7 or K38 if you know what they are like. I personally had only been by the place so when he suggested we go out for dinner there, I was ok with that. 

The conversation on the ride over and throughout dinner was focused around the next steps we will be taking. I believe I have posted before about Matthew's decision on medical school. He has decided on going to school to be a Veterinarian. Although there are 20+ schools around the US that he could apply for, the two that we have been looking for are in Raleigh (NC State) or St. George's in Grenada (which....is in the Caribbean.) Tuition for NC State will obviously be the least expensive because we would be paying as an in state student. The school in Grenada would be a bit more but would still be cheaper than going out of state. 

Let me rewind just a few days. Thursday while on my way to dance, Matt calls me after his online lecture and tells me that he go in touch with the application adviser for St. George's. We have been under the impression that we can't start application processes for either school until he takes the GRE. And he can't take the GRE until March sometime. SO!! He starts talking to this guy who actually is really good friends with Matt's old boss from Banfield (the vet that he has worked at for a while.). He tells Matthew that there's no reason really for why he can't get into this school and tells him to go ahead and fill out his application, get his recommendation letters, and transcripts sent in. Then, when he takes the GRE he can get those scores sent. Basically, doesn't matter if you have taken the GRE or not, go ahead and get the process started and we will be waiting to receive your info. Pretty freakin great news!!!!!! 

SO!!!! 

Our conversation last night was pretty much centered around this. Now, let me just throw this out there (and I think I can speak for Matthew here as well), the reason we have been fasting was to get direction on where we are to go to school. Matt knew he was supposed to go back to school for some medical field and the process for figuring out which one exactly was a long painful one in itself. We both have felt Vet school was the way to go and I have been trying to support him in whatever way I personally can with this. Matthew opened up last night telling me that he didn't really feel much from the first week of the fast and I completely agreed with him!! The entire first week I felt very upset and angry that "nothing" was happening. I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of it truthfully. By Monday, I was fed up and ready to give up for sure. As we sat at Mixto last night talking about this next step and how we have felt about the fasting, I told him that I was in the same boat but then I felt like the reason for the "silence" was to get me in a place where all the "junk" was out so that a renewing could take place. I made the comment that you have to clean out the dirt and gunk in order to have a clean place to work with. When there's "stuff" in the way, you can't really move. Now, I'm still not sold on either school because I don't want us to make our own plans on how all this will go. Matthew starting the application process for St. George's is a step saying, "Ok God, I don't know where I'm supposed to be but I trust you in showing me that way. Here is my step of faith in one direction. Close this option tight if its not your will I go there. I trust you to lead me." We have to move one direction or another because standing still doesn't help God in showing us directions. Stepping out in faith and trusting Him is what God wants us to do. 

We sat there talking about all the possibilities of moving to Grenada. Both of us were in a great mood!! Paid the bill and left. As we were coming home, I asked him what he wanted to do next and looking at the time (which was right around 830) I suggested watching a movie when we got home. He was up for it so we got comfy on the couches (I like to stretch out so yes, he sat on one couch and me on the other ha) and watched Dirty Dancing, one of my favorite. :) It was close to midnight by the time we got in bed.

It was 1:30 when it all started.....

Matt was sick.

I think it was food poisoning from the restaurant and I started praying that I wouldn't get sick. Because, let's be honest, what's worse than one person having food poisoning?? Two people having food poisoning. :-/ *Don't worry, I won't go into details here.*

He was up all night long which kept me up worrying about what in the world I was supposed to do!! I think God was just preparing me for kids. ;) He would laid down for about 30 min and then be in the bathroom where I would have to get him back to bed and get him comfortable long enough for me to go back to our bed long enough to doze of for him to run back to the bathroom again. It was a vicious cycle all night until about 5:30 when it finally stopped. He still didn't sleep, poor guy, which made me feel so much more helpless. When I woke up around 9, I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep at all. Went in and checked on him and he said that he had tried calling for me for about two hours until he finally gave up and just tried to sleep.  I got him as comfortable as possible and then left for the store. Picked up some Ginger Ale, Gatorade, ramen, thermometer, and some other cleaning supplies. I took his temperature, which was 100.3, gave him some Ginger Ale and Gatorade along with the cup of water he already had, and then set to work cleaning EVERYTHING. (I've done 4 loads of laundry today and I'm still not finished. Just saying.) Checked on him around 12 and he was asleep thank God. I sat down on the couch and fell asleep for about 15 minutes until I woke up and went back to bed until about 3:30 when he texted me and said he was ready to get up. :) (He was in the guest room so instead of calling for me this time, he just texted me ha might sound lazy but I understood he just wasn't feeling good.)

Got him up in the living room, all nice and comfy on the couch. And that's where he's been all afternoon/evening. We're right in the middle of our fast and I can't help to think that after that conversation last night, that this isn't an attack from the devil. Following the Lord in ALL things is not always easy but Jesus did say that He would not give us more than we can handle. Taking care of Matt and feeling completely helpless and useless to do anything to make him feel better was definitely one of those moments that was not easy. I prayed all night long as I tried to make him comfortable and asked the God would help him sleep. I am grateful that we didn't end up in the hospital but I'm still a little worried for him because he's very weak and still has a temp of 100. He will not be going to school tomorrow that's for sure!! I'm just praying for a peaceful nights rest for him and against any other ideas Satan might have. 

I know this hasn't been a great post but I thought I'd share a struggle that I have had to deal with over the last 24 hrs. Please keep us in your prayers along with others that I know from our church that have been attacked in a similar way over the past couple of days. 

God is good.

And His mercies endure FOREVER.  

A hui kaua....