Soweto Gospel Choir

Last week Tuesday, my mom and I had the opportunity to see the Soweto Gospel Choir at Kenan on the UNCW campus. Tickets were going for around $50 or something but a friend of mine (who is a UNCW student) got us tickets for $10!!!!!!! Pretty awesome for sure. Anyways, I wanted to give you a taste of this awesome night. Read all about them at http://www.sowetogospelchoir.com/. They are absolutely phenomenal!! Here's a video of them but go check out more videos on YouTube. 

The End

Well, the Daniel Fast is officially over tomorrow. We, as a congregation, will break the fast tomorrow with taking communion together. Looking over the past several weeks, I have some mixed feelings about it all. It's been hard, there have been tests, and prayers have been answered. It is definitely far from true to say that God hasn't done great things. I feel the three weeks were broken into three different emotions (I know that sounds weird but let me explain). 

The first week I felt very far from God. I couldn't hear Him speaking to me, I felt alone, I felt like I had started all this to sit in silence for the entire duration. These feelings of course ended the first week in a bit of frustration and anger but as the second week started, I realized that this process had been a cleansing time. I think I posted in an earlier blog that you must clean out an area in order to bring in new things and that's just what I was feeling like after the first week. God can't pour out what He wants for you to hear or receive if you are bogged down with other things. During this first week, we stuck very strictly to the Daniel Fast Diet. In retrospect, the first week was a cleansing time.

The second week was when I really started feeling the Lord speaking to me. In small whispers at moments and through things I saw or read. He reminded me to "Taste and see that I am good, Joanna." He began opening my eyes and heart to what it truly means to be a servant. Part of being a Christian is to serve others around us. I would like to think that I have always had this mindset but when it came to work, I didn't see it that way. Every time I would walk into work, I felt Him whisper to my heart saying, "Are you going to serve others the way I want you to serve them or are you going to serve them because this is your job and you have to do it?" I was reminded to keep my focus on heavens perspective and not my own worldly perspective. During this second week, I was reminded of what a servants heart looks like. It's a process and not something that happens over night but in the end, it's so rewarding to understand what that truly is. Another thing I was learning was how much God longs for a love relationship with Him from us. He loves us unconditionally and that's a hard concept to accept and fully understand. I am still trying to wrap my brain about it!! But being reminded of my relationship with Matthew and how our lives became one followed very closely to how God wants me to look at Him. He's been there since before my parents even knew I could be an existence. From that time before I came to be, God loved me and had already started a love relationship with me. I learned (and am STILL learning) to give that love back to Him. 

At the start of the third week, I became more worried about what I could and could not eat and therefore I had placed a lot of time on the food aspect while still trying to balance spending time with the Lord. That wasn't working out. About Tuesday or Wednesday, I was completely consumed with not eating certain things that I realized several days had gone by and my focus was far from where it needed to be. I went into this fast longing for more time with my creator. Matt had been sick all weekend and was still not feeling himself completely by Tuesday. (*I would like to mention that Tuesday evening was also the night that my mom and I went to see the Soweto Gospel Choir at Kenan. I will post about this time in an upcoming post. Stay tuned!!*) So, how do I say this?? I guess you could say I changed up my fast this past Monday. I have still kept my distance from Facebook and TV shows but did eat chicken and some dairy products a few times this week. I know what you're thinking, "How could you just stop all of a sudden in the middle of a fast?!?!" I say to that, because my focus was no longer on spending time with the Lord but focusing on when I was going to eat next and if I had anything I could eat. This fast was not about the food, although that was a part of it. The real reason for this fast, at least for me, was to gain a deeper relationship with the Lord and receive direction on many areas of my life. My worry of meals was getting in the way of that. A week ago I was stressing about our possible move to the Caribbean. 

How was that going to work?? 

Where would we live?? 

How would we live?? 

What about all our things here?? 

I asked God for peace about this option and that I needed Him to help me see through His eyes. I dove heard first into His presence, aching for direction. I found that yesterday. It might seem like the last moment when God would finally pull through, but it only seems that way because I was expecting it in my timing and not His. I didn't work yesterday so I was home all day. I found myself pouring over blogs from students that are currently at St. George's. I found out that there is a whole group of significant others who have created a support group of each other and those new students coming in. The peace that I was looking for had come. I saw that if we do move down there, there are others who understand the change that we would be going through and are willing to help me through it. There's a group of ladies who have started working with some some of the kids within a school (I don't remember if they are orphans or if its just a like an after school thing). It sparked my interested. Above that, several of these families are Christians. I was just reminded that no matter where we go, God will provide a healthy transition for us and will not leave us alone. "I will never leave you or forsake you." As long as we are following God's plan for our lives, He will be diligent in providing for us and taking care of us. Without Him, we are nothing. This is what I have been looking for throughout this whole fast and finding it at the every end was absolutely priceless to me and an answer to my hearts prayer. 

I know the fast ends officially tomorrow but this is not where I want my thought process to end when it comes to spending time with the Lord. In this last day, I turned to 1 Peter 1:13-25. There's so much in these few verses that I have just soaked up and  are continue to soak up. Starting in verse 24, it says:

"All men are like grass,

and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

but the word of the Lord stands forever."

His word stands forever and goes for promises in the Bible as well as promises He has spoken to me. We will be taken care of no matter where we end up. It's hard to fathom leaving a place that's so comfortable and that you have grown up in. God is good. Bottom line. :)

A hui kaua......

Daniel Fast - Day 14

Well, this day has been pretty interesting to say the least. I reckon the whole weekend really. I had to work just about the entire day yesterday. Went in at 10 and left around 5. It was a long day for sure but worth it because we were really busy. I'm ok with long days that end well financially. :)

On days like that, however, I don't really like to come home and have to figure out what to make for dinner. My entire body really hurts from walking/running around all day assisting to everyone's needs. Just saying. Anyways. When Matt picked me up, he asked me what we wanted to do for dinner and I said I didn't really care just as long as I didn't have to make anything. He suggested Mixto.

Mixto is in downtown Wilmington and a very eccentric place to dine. The atmosphere is really unique. The cuisine is Tex Mex, kind of like Tower 7 or K38 if you know what they are like. I personally had only been by the place so when he suggested we go out for dinner there, I was ok with that. 

The conversation on the ride over and throughout dinner was focused around the next steps we will be taking. I believe I have posted before about Matthew's decision on medical school. He has decided on going to school to be a Veterinarian. Although there are 20+ schools around the US that he could apply for, the two that we have been looking for are in Raleigh (NC State) or St. George's in Grenada (which....is in the Caribbean.) Tuition for NC State will obviously be the least expensive because we would be paying as an in state student. The school in Grenada would be a bit more but would still be cheaper than going out of state. 

Let me rewind just a few days. Thursday while on my way to dance, Matt calls me after his online lecture and tells me that he go in touch with the application adviser for St. George's. We have been under the impression that we can't start application processes for either school until he takes the GRE. And he can't take the GRE until March sometime. SO!! He starts talking to this guy who actually is really good friends with Matt's old boss from Banfield (the vet that he has worked at for a while.). He tells Matthew that there's no reason really for why he can't get into this school and tells him to go ahead and fill out his application, get his recommendation letters, and transcripts sent in. Then, when he takes the GRE he can get those scores sent. Basically, doesn't matter if you have taken the GRE or not, go ahead and get the process started and we will be waiting to receive your info. Pretty freakin great news!!!!!! 

SO!!!! 

Our conversation last night was pretty much centered around this. Now, let me just throw this out there (and I think I can speak for Matthew here as well), the reason we have been fasting was to get direction on where we are to go to school. Matt knew he was supposed to go back to school for some medical field and the process for figuring out which one exactly was a long painful one in itself. We both have felt Vet school was the way to go and I have been trying to support him in whatever way I personally can with this. Matthew opened up last night telling me that he didn't really feel much from the first week of the fast and I completely agreed with him!! The entire first week I felt very upset and angry that "nothing" was happening. I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of it truthfully. By Monday, I was fed up and ready to give up for sure. As we sat at Mixto last night talking about this next step and how we have felt about the fasting, I told him that I was in the same boat but then I felt like the reason for the "silence" was to get me in a place where all the "junk" was out so that a renewing could take place. I made the comment that you have to clean out the dirt and gunk in order to have a clean place to work with. When there's "stuff" in the way, you can't really move. Now, I'm still not sold on either school because I don't want us to make our own plans on how all this will go. Matthew starting the application process for St. George's is a step saying, "Ok God, I don't know where I'm supposed to be but I trust you in showing me that way. Here is my step of faith in one direction. Close this option tight if its not your will I go there. I trust you to lead me." We have to move one direction or another because standing still doesn't help God in showing us directions. Stepping out in faith and trusting Him is what God wants us to do. 

We sat there talking about all the possibilities of moving to Grenada. Both of us were in a great mood!! Paid the bill and left. As we were coming home, I asked him what he wanted to do next and looking at the time (which was right around 830) I suggested watching a movie when we got home. He was up for it so we got comfy on the couches (I like to stretch out so yes, he sat on one couch and me on the other ha) and watched Dirty Dancing, one of my favorite. :) It was close to midnight by the time we got in bed.

It was 1:30 when it all started.....

Matt was sick.

I think it was food poisoning from the restaurant and I started praying that I wouldn't get sick. Because, let's be honest, what's worse than one person having food poisoning?? Two people having food poisoning. :-/ *Don't worry, I won't go into details here.*

He was up all night long which kept me up worrying about what in the world I was supposed to do!! I think God was just preparing me for kids. ;) He would laid down for about 30 min and then be in the bathroom where I would have to get him back to bed and get him comfortable long enough for me to go back to our bed long enough to doze of for him to run back to the bathroom again. It was a vicious cycle all night until about 5:30 when it finally stopped. He still didn't sleep, poor guy, which made me feel so much more helpless. When I woke up around 9, I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep at all. Went in and checked on him and he said that he had tried calling for me for about two hours until he finally gave up and just tried to sleep.  I got him as comfortable as possible and then left for the store. Picked up some Ginger Ale, Gatorade, ramen, thermometer, and some other cleaning supplies. I took his temperature, which was 100.3, gave him some Ginger Ale and Gatorade along with the cup of water he already had, and then set to work cleaning EVERYTHING. (I've done 4 loads of laundry today and I'm still not finished. Just saying.) Checked on him around 12 and he was asleep thank God. I sat down on the couch and fell asleep for about 15 minutes until I woke up and went back to bed until about 3:30 when he texted me and said he was ready to get up. :) (He was in the guest room so instead of calling for me this time, he just texted me ha might sound lazy but I understood he just wasn't feeling good.)

Got him up in the living room, all nice and comfy on the couch. And that's where he's been all afternoon/evening. We're right in the middle of our fast and I can't help to think that after that conversation last night, that this isn't an attack from the devil. Following the Lord in ALL things is not always easy but Jesus did say that He would not give us more than we can handle. Taking care of Matt and feeling completely helpless and useless to do anything to make him feel better was definitely one of those moments that was not easy. I prayed all night long as I tried to make him comfortable and asked the God would help him sleep. I am grateful that we didn't end up in the hospital but I'm still a little worried for him because he's very weak and still has a temp of 100. He will not be going to school tomorrow that's for sure!! I'm just praying for a peaceful nights rest for him and against any other ideas Satan might have. 

I know this hasn't been a great post but I thought I'd share a struggle that I have had to deal with over the last 24 hrs. Please keep us in your prayers along with others that I know from our church that have been attacked in a similar way over the past couple of days. 

God is good.

And His mercies endure FOREVER.  

A hui kaua....

Daniel Fast - Day 12 (I think I'm back on track)

I received a very exciting email yesterday. My piece will be in the North Carolina Dance Festival!! I wrote about this in an earlier post and my worries if it would be accepted (go check out my post titled Beautiful Things. its all in there.). So, if you have read it, you can understand my excitement to be able to perform this piece!! There is still about 32 counts of music left to choreograph, which adds up to about 40 seconds or so. I'm just really glad that it will be in the festival. A great accomplishment I have been anxiously awaiting!!

I was reminded last night after rehearsal of something that I hadn't thought of lately nor has anyone asked about. I was taking Grace, one of the girls in my piece, home after rehearsal and she asked me how Matthew proposed. :)


*Ok ok ok, I know what you're thinking. "Jo, seriously?! This is gonna be a sappy post. Do we really all need to know this????" To that, I say  yes BECAUSE I want to share with you what I felt God speaking to me from this story so hang in there and get through all that "sappy" stuff. :)*

SO!! This is the story of  THE proposal:

Matt and I had not been dating for no longer than 3.5 months. Some would say that is really quick to get engaged but we both knew that day would come from the first day we hung out. I had known even before I officially met him that he was the one!! I remember specifically coming into church the summer of '10 and seeing him walk in. He didn't sit too far from us. In the middle of worship, I glanced at Matt and as if God was sitting right next to me, I heard him say, "Just wait. That's the one."
I laughed. Oh yes!! I laughed out loud!! Ya see, at this point, I had sworn off the entire male race (yes, they are a race ;-p). So, for God to tell me that, I had to laugh. Of course I found him attractive!! But I was set that there was NO WAY I was going to have anything to do with him.
A few months past and every time I saw him at church, I was reminded to just wait because that was the one. I told God that He would have to do something pretty freaking big for me to be ok with that idea!! Above that, I was NOT about to do anything to try and get this kids attention. No way!! No sir!!
Well. Don't ask God to do something if you don't really want it to happen!! I walked into church on that wonderful day and there was Matthew, talking to several people, one of them being Katherine Freshwater. As I walked past them, Katherine grabbed me and gave me a hug saying, "Hey Jo!! It's so good to see you. Have you met my friend Matt????????" Needless to say, I wasn't sure what to do. Run away and hide or stand there and shake the kids hand?? I chose option B. We talked for a couple minutes and then I went in and found a seat. Didn't talk to him after service which was a little disappointing but I know now that it was a good thing. I found him on Facebook later that afternoon and we started chatting. He asked me out to dinner for that evening and picked me up on his motorcycle. We went to Tower 7 in Wrightsville Beach and then after dinner, walked out on the beach and talked for almost 3 hours. About 2 weeks later, we were "official." :)


*I needed you to give you a recap of how we met so you could understand the actual proposal part. Hang in there, that part is next.* 


I had told Matt that Valentine's Day was probably the worst idea of a "holiday." I think it's just a day that Hallmark came up with personally. I think it's sweet to get flowers and chocolates but on Valentine's day, it's like those things are expected. Don't give me things expected. I like to be surprised. I hate knowing what I'm going to get. On top of that!!!! Being proposed to on Valentine's Day is probably an even more cliche that I didn't want to have any part of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matthew knew all this. He knew my feelings for Valentine's Day and all the things that go with it. If you do something for me, you better make it different and so way out of the ordinary.
Well, Valentine's Day was on a Monday last year. Both of us of course had to work and thankfully I was only working that day. While I was at work, he sent several of the senior girls from Coastal to bring me a dozen Tulips. After I left work, I had to be at the studio to teach and in the middle of class, he stopped by and left me a box of chocolates that had a note saying, "I know you don't like Valentine's Day but I still wanted to do something special for you. I love you." Then I got a text telling me to come over to his house after I got done teaching because he was making dinner and had  bought tickets to see The King's Speech (Those tickets were for the 9pm showing of The King's Speech. I didn't really think much about that actually.).
He made me steak, a baked potato, and asparagus. Absolutely delicious!! :) After dinner, we headed out to Mayfaire for the movie. I heard really good things about this movie so I was pretty excited about it. It was a long movie so by the time we got out it was about 11:45. We started heading home and instead of going straight through the light, he took a left and headed towards Wrightsville Beach. I was a little confused and asked where he was going. He said, "I thought it would be fun to go to back to the place we had our first date."
OK!! This is where the flags started showing up for me. HOWEVER!! I again pushed it out of my mind because he KNEW how I felt about Valentine's Day proposals. I just played it up as he was trying to be sweet and do something special for me.
So, we get to the beach and walk out on the sand. It was a beautiful full moon that night I remember. The sand was a bit cold for me to sit on so he offered to let me sit in his lap (precious, I know. Ha!!). We sat there for a little bit and chatted about that first date and I was reminded by something at that moment. On our first date while talking the night away, I had explained to him why I loved the beach so much. Ya see, the beach is just so awesome to me. From where we live, its the first place that sees the sun and moon. It's where I spend so many summer days. I find it a very peaceful place. Beyond that, it's where God gives me little gifts. Just about every time I go to the beach, whether to play or walk, I always get a gift from God. I see dolphins, find a really awesome shell, hear him whisper to me, see a shooting star, or a number of other cool things. Well, on our first date we had talked about what our names mean.
Do you know what "Matthew" means??
Matthew means - Gift of God.
As I sat on the beach during our first date, Matt reminded me of this and I remember turning my head because I was about to cry. As we sat on the beach Valentine's night, I was reminded of this and told him how special that moment was for me during our first date. A few moment later he asked if I was ready to leave and so I stood up facing the water. WHICH!! Of course gave him the right amount of time to quickly get to his knee. :) As I turned around, there he was, on his knee.
I said, "What are you doing?!?!"
He replied with, "Hi."
*Hi?!?! HI!!!!!!! What in the world is he doing...???*
I said again, "What are you doing!!!!"
"Well.....uhmmm......."
"Matthew, what are you doing?!?!"
He pulls out his phone to see the time and says, "Well, it's 12:01 and you said not on Valentine's Day so it's technically not Valentine's Day anymore. And so I've been thinking and I've decided that I want to spend the rest of my life with you..............Jo, will you marry me???"
I was absolutely speechless. I didn't know if I was going to cry or say no because to me it was still Valentine's Day or was I supposed to jump in his arms like the movies?!?! So what did I do??
I simply grinned from ear to ear and nodded my head yes.
He stood up, embraced me, and gave me a kiss. In all the excitement, he forgot to give me the ring!!! He quickly pulled it out of his pocket (the box was rather big for one piece of jewelry but I do still have that exact box.) and slipped it on my finger. It was too big so we had to get it re-sized. He proceeded to tell me that he had gone to the jeweler and explained to him what he wanted and the jeweler didn't have anything like what he explained so they had to send it off and get it custom made. That is special to me for sure. No one has my ring!!! :)

I tell you this story because I was reminded last night of something. As I was telling this story to my friend Grace, God gently reminded me how much I meant to him. He longs for us to be in relationship and so madly in love with him. There were three verses that came to my mind:


Song of Solomon 4:9
"You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes."
Verse 16
"This is my lover, this is my friend."
And 7:10
"I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me."

Matthew was a gift to me and I a gift to him. I realized that the way God sees our marriage was the same way He wants my relationship with Him to be. God wants to give me so much more than I can dream or dare to imagine. I have stolen His heart just by being me and He wants to steal my heart. I belong to Him and His desire is for ME. For ME!! Of all people!! He desires me!! This revelation hit me so hard last night that I couldn't stop grinning. It was like I had been proposed to all over again. During this fast, I have struggled with things that I have not been able to eat. Today at work my manager put something out for us to taste and I took a bite thinking "oh I just want a taste." God spoke to me and said, "Taste and see that I am good Jo." Moments like this just remind me all the time of His love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness for us.

What is your love story?? Have you let God love on you today and propose to you again?? Has He made you blush lately?? Perhaps find some time today to let God propose to you again and fall madly in love with Him all over again. :)



A hui kaua......

Daniel Fast - Day 10...I think

Just wanted to share a song that has been stuck in my head all day. We sang it yesterday and I've just been singing it all day. I love what this song says. This is a live version of this song with Shane and Shane and Bethany Dillion but I liked the mix of the three of these singing together. Rest and enjoy this song. Let it flow over you as you listen. Meditate on the words and let it speak to you. I pray it not be just words and a good song but something that truly penetrates deep to you heart. Someone once asked me what dancing meant to me and how it went with worship. I explained that worship to me is through my dancing. There is so much passion when a worship leader leads a congregation in singing praises. That same passion that comes from their mouth is what I feel in movement. Dance to me is not just moving around in pretty little circles and leaps but its a heart thing. This song makes me want to worship and express with my whole being what I long for. It is truly my passion and desire right now because I feel so much longing to be near the Lord and in His presence. That's what this fast is supposed to do right?? ;) Anyways, I hope you can worship through this song. Perhaps you don't watch the video but just simply play the song. I think you'll get a lot out of this song no matter what way you listen to it. 

Enjoy!!   

A hui kaua.......

Daniel Fast - What day am I on...?!?!

Hello one and all. Yes, I realize that my idea of staying up with the every day posting for the Daniel Fast has completely fallen to the side. I would like to get you up to speed but honestly, my mind is racing from one thing to the next with ideas of where to begin and how to write this post today. Stick with me because this may be all over the place. :)

Today, I had the awesome opportunity of spending the day with all the girls from Coastal Christian High School. My husband teaches there for those who don't know that. Each year, they have a Spiritual Enrichment Day. This day is dedicated to enriching the lives of their students spiritually. An awesome time for both students and leaders to be a part of!! They separate the guys and galls and the teacher heading up the girls portion got in touch with me and asked me to help with some of the event. I was so excited that she asked me!! Since dating Matt, I have felt like just his "other half" when we would be at events for the school. This time though felt different. Macie personally sought me out and asked me to be a part of it. I was so honored to have this opportunity!! 

Well, as the week got closer and closer, I realized I was getting a bit nervous about helping out. It really hit me last night (although, I kept it deep down inside ha...) that I was feeling very inadequate to do anything with these students. Macie had asked me to put together a mime/skit to a song by Casting Crowns called "Set Me Free". I was excited to do that!! Choreographing was just up my alley!! 

But..... 

The doubt was very much there as we finished up (finished putting the ENTIRE piece together within an hour might I add). I left the church thinking how I was not going to be able to reach any of these kids. I was going to be a resounding gong on all their ears and nothing was going to be accomplished through me. The skit looked great. It was pieced together wonderfully and all those who were in it were open and willing to do whatever they needed to do!! I couldn't have asked for a better cast to work with. Honestly. 

But there was still something missing for me.

And I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Until I was leaving.
I was looking at the ladies I was standing beside and felt this overwhelming sense that my relationship with the Lord was nothing like there's. My faith and understanding of God's word was no where near what they have!! 

*Please cue the sad violin music now haha*

I left feeling happy that the piece was finished but defeated at the same time. All the stuff we were trying to reach the girls on was all of a sudden heavy on my heart and making me feel inadequate. I knew this was Satan just trying to get at me and boy was he winning!! I got home and just wanted to sit quietly and pray. Pray for peace over my mind, courage to open my mouth and say what the Lord laid on my heart, and to just feel a freedom so real. I went to bed a little uneasy about everything.
As soon as I got to the church this morning, there was a change. I didn't know what kind of change but there was a difference in my mind and heart. I had woken up with an excited nervousness. I don't know how else to explain it honestly!! We all prayed together before the girls got there and everything got started. As we prayed, I silently asked God to use me in whatever way today. I asked that he speak to these girls. 

High school is a tough age. I hated high school and I could only imagine the things that these girls were struggling with!! As we broke off into groups, I became really nervous because I really didn't know what I was going to say to my group of girls!! There was nothing that I had planned or written out or even specifically prayed for. When I was praying last night, I just got one thing from the Lord and that was...
"Just open your  heart." 

Open my heart....

WHAT?!?!

What does that look like???? 

You can understand my frustration when that was all I got. I was hoping for this elaborate long list of verses and words to just be pouring out. 

Nope.

Just simply, open your heart.

So as our small group time got started, I prayed for that. An open heart. We went through a page of questions and at first, none of them wanted to talk. That's when I knew what God had been saying. "Just open your heart." I started speaking without even knowing it. I told them hurts that I had to endure, failures from people close to me, and negative words that I had believed of myself for some time. After one of the girls opened up, tears streamed down my face as I related to her and explained where and when I had to re-find my identity in the Lord. Several other girls began opening up and expressing hurts, struggles, and bondage's that they were dealing with also. I thought that was it. I thought there was nothing else God had me there for. And I was ok with that!! 

Then we went back into the sanctuary to finish up. 

I watched as ministry time started and all the leaders were up towards the front open for anyone to come receive prayer. I saw girls opening up to one another. I watched as friendships were being restored and forgiveness given and received. To watch these girls being so opened and vulnerable with one another was an amazing time for me to watch and be a part of.
In this moment, I was gently reminded of something that I had been saying to those ladies in my group.
"Jo, you are not a mistake. 
You are not a failure. 
And you most certainly were not created for nothing."
At the very end, a young lady walked up to me that I know somewhat and said to me, "I just wanted to say thank you for being a part of our school. I know you don't teach here but I just thought you should know I'm thankful that you support us at like the games and here today. So, thanks."
I was blown away!! I had thought all night and most of the day that there was no need for me to be there and be a part of this. Yet, here was this young lady telling me thank you for being there and supporting them. How cool is that!!!!! Talk about encouragement coming out of the blue!!!!!!

I know this one post is a bit long but allow me to end with one more thought. The verse over today was from John 10:10.
  "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that YOU may have life, and have it to the full."
And there was another that kept ringing in my ears which is from Psalm 139:23-24
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Both of these have spoken to me all day long and even over the past several days (that second part can be for the next posting so stay tuned!!). But here and now, I long for these so much!! I want to live my life to the fullest in Jesus Christ but I know that I have not allowed myself to let God breathe on me for that to happen. When I look at the passage from Psalms, I am aware that allowing God to search me and test me is the way for me to have an abundant, full life. I know that I carry a lot of hurt from both pasts experiences and hurt for others. When He gets in there and cleans out the mess, the baggage, and all the emptiness from pain, then, I will be able to live a full life. This needs to be done on a regular basis for sure or my temple begins to look like a hoarders house!! It seems God has begun some cleaning since this fast started and there are some new coats of paint, pictures, and cleaning of windows that need to take place. This very well may be in another posting so definitely stay tuned!! :)


A hui kaua.....

Daniel Fast - Day 3 (cont.)

I have signed up to receive daily devotions through Kristen Feola (author of the recipe book I'm using) and the verse she focused on today was from Acts 17:26-27. 

"The God who made the worlds and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'"

(Acts 17:24-28)

When I am given part of a verse, I like to read the entire chapter to be able to understand the verse in context. I went to the beginning of chapter 17 and saw that these passages were taken from when Paul spent some time in Athens. 

*All of chapter 17 is actually three different cities but I just focused on the one in Athens since that's where the verse came from.*

So as I read through these passages and was understanding what was going on here. Paul had come into Athens and started preaching the good news to a group of Jews and Greeks. Then some philosophers started arguing with him and saying that he was just babbling on about nothing that made sense. Paul had noticed the city was full idols when he entered. He listens to the philosophers long enough for them to say their religious views. Starting in verse 22 it says:

"Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: "Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you."

(Acts 17:22-23)

I had to chuckle at Paul's comment about them being "in every way very religious." They found ANYTHING to make an idol out of and then labeled those things to certain gods, even unknown ones!! 

Then it really hit me...

We are not much farther past these men.....

Our society can find anything to make an idol out of it. Just turn on the TV, look at Facebook, get on Yahoo "news" feed, and I'm sure you can think of plenty of other areas where we have made an idol out of something. I'm sure I preaching to the choir but this just hit me square between the eyes. I know that I have put some things above the Lord, especially when it comes to spending time in his word. I would be so humiliated if Paul was walking among us today. I don't know how he would react to our society and way of life. Yes, times have changed but God's word will not. He has created us to worship him with our whole hearts and not other useless nonsense stuff.  

"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'" 

Paul understood that God created us for a reason and a purpose and already had our days numbered out and where we would live. God made it this way so that we MUST seek him out and we MUST find him for everything we need. No human, no TV show, no celebrity, no Facebook status, no news can ever give us what God has already ordained for us. 

So why do we place things in front of God all the time like we will get answers from other things instead of looking for our needs to be met by the one who created us??? I am so not perfect and I fail so much in how I am supposed to be walking with the Lord and even walking out that relationship with those around me. 

God forgive me!! Forgive me for placing things in the way of seeking you and finding you. Forgive me for not living out this relationship with you in other relationships also. Jesus, forgive my society and generation for pushing you so far out of our every day lives as if you don't matter!! In you we must live and in you we must find our being. Why is that so difficult?? I'm sorry Father. Help me keep my focus on you not only throughout this fast but throughout the rest of my days. Amen...

I refuse to have a mediocre relationship with the one who created me. Read these verses and let God search your heart. What are some areas that in your life he might be showing you that have been placed in front of him??

A hui kaua........

Daniel Fast - Day 2

The other night, Matt and I went to the grocery store to prepare our cupboards and fridge for the certain foods we will be eating throughout the fast. We started this just at the right time because we finished up all the meats and dairy products that were left in the fridge on Sunday. Which means!! I had plenty of room to go grocery shopping again and nothing that I already had was going to go bad. It was a blessing to me honestly because I hate to throw out perfectly good food. :)

I am not much of a breakfast person. I know it's the most important meal of the day and should take more consideration of actually eating breakfast. Well, Matt loves smoothies. They are quick and easy to make. In preparing for this fast, Matt found some protein powder that was gluten free and dairy free. He was so excited about it and now for the past two days he has made us smoothies for breakfast!!

So yummy!!!!

I'm sure as long as there are frozen fruits, peanut butter, flax, almond milk, and protein powder then I will have great smoothies all month long!! I saw a recipe in our Ultimate Guide book that added tofu to smoothies. I'm not sure how that would taste but seeing as tofu doesn't exactly have a flavor itself, it might be a good substitute for yogurt.

*******************************************************************************

Book of Daniel

I truly love the old testament. I know there are some books that can get boring but I think there are such great Bible stories that we don't always get to learn when we are younger. I will definitely be the first to say that although I have grown up in a church and Christian home, I struggle a lot with knowing many of the books and what the stories and testimonies are behind them. 

Because this fast is called the Daniel Fast, I wanted to read the book of Daniel. Now, we all know the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and the fiery furnace they were thrown into. What is not normally put together when telling their story is that Daniel was a part of them. It tells us in chapter 1 that King Jehoiakim, the king of Judah, was overthrown by King Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar ordered men from the royal family and the nobility be brought into his palace. For three years they were to learn the Babylonian language and literature. These men were given the choicest food from the king's table. Rach, Shach, Benny, and Daniel did not want to defile themselves with food given to idols and therefore asked to be given fruits and veggies instead. Of course the officials knew the king would not be happy to hear this and therefore Daniel asked to give them 10 days on this diet and then to test their appearance with that of the other men. These men were not perfect by any means. They knew, however, that taking part in food that was not kosher was against their laws. I have to think that they smelled this food and probably wanted to take part in it because of how delicious it looked!! Like I said, not perfect men so let's be honest. After the 10 days, the four men looked healthier and better nourished than any of the other young men who ate the royal food (Daniel 1:15). Because of their obedience to the Lord, God GAVE knowledge and understanding of ALL kinds of literature and learning. And to Daniel, he GAVE the understanding of visions and dreams.

After their three years in this program, the king found favor on these four men and placed them higher than his magicians and enchanters. 

 What sticks out the most to me is Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and Daniel's heart to serve the Lord no matter what worldly king is over them. They are not rude to the king but simply say that they cannot consume certain kinds of foods. That to me is a huge step of faith!! The king could have easily had them wiped out!! They knew they were in a new place but also knew that God was still with them and they had to honor God in all things. I underlined the word "gave" above because it stuck out to me in all this. Daniel was obedient to the Lord and although the officials didn't see it as the men were fasting, they were doing just that in order to press into the presence of God. Therefore, because of their obedience to him, the Lord favored these men and gave them "knowledge, understanding, visions, and dreams (verse 17)." 

During this time of fasting, I am looking for that knowledge and understanding. I have talked about where Matt and I are in decision making for our future in a previous post. I have been anxiously awaiting this time in order to press into God's presence. I want more in my relationship with him and I want to see where God is calling us. Furthermore, I want to see healing in my family. This is not something I want to play around with. Yeah, the recipes are going to fun to work with when making meals but where I want my biggest meal to come from is from feasting on the word of God.

God is good. If God gives me his best, why should I not strive to give him my best in return?? We are all created to worship him in EVERY aspect of our lives. No matter how small or large, what are areas that you can worship God in today?? 

A hui kaua... 

Daniel Fast - Day 1

Life Community, the church we attend, does a 21 day fast that comes from the book of Daniel. It is called the Daniel Fast and in some ways, just the title can create some anxiety in people. Myself included. The Daniel Fast is a very strict food diet that basically follows a vegan diet. 

No meat, no dairy, no sugars, no processed foods.

Veggies, fruits, nuts, whole grains are the menu.

Now, just looking at this diet doesn't make me too excited. I immediately think, "Great!! My church wants us to starve!!" 

Not exactly. 

Fasting is not about sitting around starving and being hungry all the time. And it shouldn't be I think. Fasting is about abstaining from food and other things that keep you from pressing into the presence of God. Not by any means is cutting out things in your daily routine or diet easy. But that's when we learn to lean on the Lord more and more over the 21 days. Fasting is not all about the food also. Like I said, fasting is ANYTHING that keeps you from pressing into the presence of God. That can include but certainly is not limited to TV, Internet, movies, apps on your phone, etc. Anything that takes your time away from the Lord. 

In preparing for this fast, Matthew and I talked about what we wanted to do. Of course, you are free to change the fast to your particular needs. Each person is different and have different distractions in their lives. For us, the non-food related distractions are TV, Facebook, and Craigslist. Therefore, I have chosen to give up Facebook and watching TV for the 21 days. Matt is an avid Craigslist-er so he decided on not getting on there for the next 21 days. I wanted to hold on to my blog so I could post about our accomplishments, struggles, and even some great dishes throughout this fast. I will not be posting them to Facebook so if there are only 3 people that read this, OK!! :) I really just want to keep this blog for myself so I can look back and see what the Lord has done and is continuing to do in my life and in our marriage. I guess you could say an online journal.

SO!!

In beginning this time of fasting, I really wanted to dive deep and try to do it whole heartily. The past two years that I have been a part of this renewing time, I haven't put a great deal of effort into it. The first year, I just fasted from meat and didn't spend more time in the word or making time to meet with God. Last year, I just fasted lunch and felt like there was A LOT of issues that were uprooted in me. In preparing for this year, I knew I wanted to do the full blown vegan diet. I had gone to Barnes & Noble several months back and ran across a book called "The Ultimate Guide to the Daniel Fast" by Kristen Feola.


Let me just say, I have only made one dinner meal but boy but was it good!!! I meant to take a picture of it but totally forgot. Little upset about that but oh well. I made bell peppers stuffed with a sauce made from tomato sauce, couscous, onions, black olives, squash, and some seasonings. Oh man!!! Matt devoured it. They were really good and I was very happy with the finished product. :)

*These are not my peppers but very similar to what I made*

Anyways, I got the book because I didn't want to have to worry about the food aspect of this fast and really wanted to focus on what the fast was really about. I am definitely going to enjoy learning some new recipes!!  This has only been the first day but I'm excited to see what's to come over the next few weeks.

What has happened today you ask?? Well, I decided last night that I was going to do a liquid fast all day today. I didn't know how hard that was going to be until it hit me around 1:30 this afternoon. This of course is not recommended for the entire 21 days and is done for the first 1-3 days of the fast. I chose to do it just for today. I really was doing good like I said. Ya see, I knew the hardest part of this fast was going to be still working at my job. I work at a restaurant and food is very easily accessed there obviously. Our managers constantly give us stuff to try which are so good!! There I was, drinking my water with lemon and praying....praying.....PRAYING for strength to get through the day. It certainly didn't help that it was EXTREMELY slow today so I was doing my best to stay busy or stay out of the kitchen. I prayed a lot today for the next few weeks, for Matt, for those in my small group, for things coming up. I did find that not focusing on the hunger and food aspect and instead turning my attention to the Lord really did change my mindset. It was not easy by any means but knowing that I was focusing on the Lord even in this momentary uncomfortable place truly encouraged. It encouraged me to just talk to God. It reminded me that yes I am fasting but that doesn't mean I have to walk around down and in a bad mood. I tried to keep a very positive outlook on everything that happened at work. I asked for blessings over each person I waited on, even the super-duper annoying customers!! That, let me tell you, was tough. Customers that act like the world revolves around them or treats me like I am so low below them do not make me want to be happy while I'm waiting on them. I was reminded each time before I greeted a table to pray over those people. I think the biggest thing I received today was a reminder that Jesus had a servant heart towards others and he wants us to have the same. I want to be a blessing to those people even if I only get to see them for a few moments of their busy day. God blesses me so why shouldn't I share that blessing with others??

How can you serve someone today?? Perhaps through that serving attitude, you will bless someone that needed it.


A hui kaua...