January 1st, 2014. So many things run through your mind when you think of starting a new year.
The beginning.
A new season.
Refreshing.
Hitting the restart button.
Looking ahead.
Excited for what's to come.
Each year, there are different obstacles and struggles we are faced with. We were never promised a life void of these things. We were promised in every circumstance, in every trial, in every hard time, we are not alone. We have someone fighting for us. We have a provider. We have a solid rock to hold tight to and He will never let go of us. As I look back on 2013 and move forward into 2014, I am confident that the trials this year brought will bring testimony of God's goodness and faithfulness in our lives. John 16:33 says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." We can walk into 2014 with assurance and peace that He has already overcome!! If that's not good news, man, I don't know what is.
At the beginning of December, I began praying for this new year and for what the Lord had for me personally, and us as a family. For starters, I felt the nudge to exit stage left with Facebook. I could tell it had become a crutch for me and I found myself sitting on there instead of spending my time in other areas that needed my attention. That leads me to my next desire for this New Year. The first Sunday I was back in the States at our home church, they played a song called To Be Like You by Hillsong (You can listen to that song here). The bridge in this song says,
"Jesus, Jesus
All I want is to be like you"
For a while now I have felt my heart being pulled towards something GREATER. I can't necessarily put words to what I mean by that. All I can say is that I feel a nudge in my spirit to seek the Fathers heart and "be like Him". I know that sounds very cliche but I'm not really sure how else to explain it. I'm not happy with a mediocre relationship with Jesus and I want a deeper understanding of Him and His power in my life.That leads me to my one word for this year. Like I said previously, I started praying in the beginning of December for this new year. Asking for my one word was a part of those prayers. Contentment is the word I received. My one word might sound a bit contradictory from what I have just explained in the above paragraph. However, let me shine some light on how this word fits perfectly for me this year.
The meaning of contentment is:
1. Mentally or emotionally satisfied with things as they are.
2. Assenting to or willing to accept circumstances, a proposed course of action, etc
3. Peace of mind; mental or emotional satisfaction
I stated previously that I've been feeling a pull on my heart for something greater. So how in the world does the nudge on my heart and this word coincide with one another?!?!!! Allow me to take you back about a year and half. When we arrived in Grenada, I was totally ready to leave Matt here and stay in NC while he did his thing with school. I resisted getting comfortable, I refused to find *anything* good about this island, and all I wanted was to go home (which....I told Matt that about a dozen times a day.....). I'm sure I could play those feelings off as "pregnancy hormones" but y'all, there's just no way that was the case. Bottom line, I was throwing a pitty party and everyone was invited to leave me alone. Sometime around the beginning of our second term here (Spring 2013), I knew something had to change. Either I could change my circumstances OR I could change my outlook. Obviously, the first part was not going to happen any time soon. So, I started praying and, boy oh boy!! Did I pray HARD!! God knew the desires of my heart even if I had lost sight of those. I am so thankful that He has so much mercy and grace over us because with all my complaining, I'm surprised God didn't turn off the phone lines to Him. I'm sure He was having a deja vu moment of the Israelites wondering in the desert (haha....). ;)
But I digress. I returned in September with a mindset to actively strive for a better attitude about being here. Having the opportunity to teach and take classes at a local studio downtown has helped. A lot. Yes, I am a mommy to a beautiful little girl but before that little girl came into our lives, I was a dancer and still am. Being in my element while living abroad has given me back a feeling of purpose. As 2013 was coming to a close, I knew I needed/wanted to keep this positive mindset front and center. We have just made it to our half way mark of living in Grenada. For the next nine to ten months (give or take), we will be living here. That is too much time waisted comparing myself to others, or, constantly wishing for something "better".
So, now that you have the back story, let me catch you up to now. The Lord has used my circumstances to shine light on where He wants to take me. I am not ok with sitting back and not moving forward. Being content with where He has planted me will allow for the growth He has planned. I will never grow if I am constantly comparing myself to others or wishing for something I think is "better". The Lord has us here for a reason and a purpose. Those reasons are *not* just for Matt's schooling. I am as big of a part of this story as he is. So, I cannot allow mediocrity, comparison, and "better" to run my thoughts. Being content with where the Lord has me is the *only* way to grow.
I will be content with this journey. I will be content to grow where God has planted me. I will be content in His ways, plans, and purposes for me. I will be content in my circumstances so that HE gets ALL the glory, honor, and praise.
"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." ~ Isaiah 43:19 ~
"For we live by faith, not by sight." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7 ~
A hui kaua........
No comments:
Post a Comment